A Mom First

As all of us mom's know and come find out, trying to find the perfect balance in our lives can be hard, and ever changing. As we have added more kids to our family and the dynamics have changed over the last 4 years, I have gone from working full time, head volleyball coach, working out 5-6 days a week, making commitments to different groups and leagues and things without even thinking twice. Change is good, change is hard, and change makes us grow.

As Chris and I have been forced to clear our plates of ALL commitments right now because of his crazy shift work schedule and having 3 very young boys to take care of, has taught us a lot about ourselves and what we need to be have somewhat of a balance in our lives. Since Chris has started working at BP and our family has grown, he has given up a lot too, he use to be in Rotary, played in fast pitch and basketball leagues, coached baseball, golfed regularly, and hunted a lot. As parents we ALL make sacrifices for the best interest for our kids, and we put them first. Chris has said even though sometimes he misses the things he use to love so much, his new job, and just being here for the kids is more rewarding than filling his spare (not so spare time) with other things.

Being a stay at home mom for this school year has been very different for me. I am use to being super busy with things not only at home but outside of the home as well. I think at times that balance was good for me, which has forced me to find balance in other areas of my life. I find it the hardest to be able to plan anything right now, I am a person that doesn't like to quit, I make a promise or a commitment and stick with it. I don't like to let people down. Because of that I don't like to half do anything, so instead of always having excuses like Chris is working, or the kids need me it is just easier to not commit at all. Sometimes I miss going to volleyball practices and playing in leagues, coaching, or friends home parties, MOPS, small group, going to Church, (Kyler still is not doing well there) shopping, or just running errands, and having to ask our parents who already work full time to help me out just so I can go to the gym for a workout. No such thing as a quick trip anywhere, and everything requires planning on some measure.

Besides being there for our kids and making that a priority, Chris and I both feel very strongly about staying healthy and making time for the gym during the week. We both feel that when working out we are able to be better parents when we can burn some energy at the gym :) The gym is also my social outlet each day, I love the girls I do classes with and have fun just getting out of the house for an hour. Because Chris is so tired when he gets off, or has been working nights it is really hard for him to take all 3 kids and let me go too often without any help, so we have become forced planners! Thank goodness for the awesome friends that give me "breaks" with phone calls and text messages throughout the day...

Being a mom has taught me more than I could have imagined. It has taught me to LOVE and FORGIVE so much more than I ever thought I was capable, not only my kids, but people in general. Life is too short appreciate the things you have before it is too late. Sometimes I feel like I get stuck in mom zone where it is hard to see past wearing sweat pants all day, spitup, and the kids running laps around me, but then I have to stop and realize how thankful I am. This is the toughest, most rewarding job ever, and God has given me this huge job of raising these boys, and this is where He wants me to be. I am so thankful my daily devotionals in my book "Jesus Calling" everyday the verses and devtionals help me focus on being a better mom, and growing closer to Jesus, and recongnizing that His plan is perfect for me. So much of my time was wasted before trying to plan everything out and fill my days with what I thought was best, but I really have had chance to reevaluate and try to let things happen, and not always fight for the control I once thought I had to have. I use to worry about what people thought more, and I thought I could change people, but I have learned so much about what is really important, and for that I am so greatful that I don't let the small things define my day, but am focused on the big picture.

Even though each day brings its own successes and struggles, each day is 100 times better being a mom and sharing my life with my kids. God is good, and I have never realized what a miracle children were until having my own. The greatest "job" on Earth!

*Wow this turned out to be a long post, congrats if you made it to the end :)